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4/02/2010

The fear of getting what you want...

That title seems like a misnomer, doesn't it? But it's so true. Not that I've gotten all I want yet - not by a long shot - but it's still a damn scary thing to set small, incremental goals and then to start seeing them come to fruition. I know there will be bumps and ruts in the road, and that's okay. I knew when I signed on for this business that it wouldn't be smooth sailing all the time, and I'm ready to face that. Or at least I hope I'm ready. But the further I go, the more I wonder if I'm in over my head. Will I be able to handle the course I've set? What if I've bitten off more than I can chew? (And yes, my goal in this blog is to use as many cliches as possible - take that, Tara! ;)) My excitement always seems to be buried beneath panic. Before I get excited about good news, I start trying to think my way through any possible complications. I don't know if that's my way of managing my expectations in case something goes wrong, but for today, I'm going to try to be happy about the good and let the rest take care of itself. It always does anyway.

How do you handle the possibility of getting what you want, whether it's in your personal or professional life? Do you always look for the potential problems before you let yourself be happy, or is that just me?

Also...please stop back on Monday, April 5th, when I'm interviewing the AWESOME JA Saare's heroine Rhiannon Murphy, necromancer and all-around kickass chick from Dead, Undead or Somewhere in Between! Rhiannon puts me in my place a few times, I have to say. ;)

10 comments:

J.A. Saare said...

How do I handle it? -- I freak out! I can't help it. I've always been someone who gets kind of antsy when good things happen. ;)

Jamie D. said...

I'm an optimist, generally speaking, but a realist nonetheless. So like you, I'm always looking for the "catch", and trying to head off as many potential problems as possible (which means I'm constantly trying to predict what will go wrong).

I do get comfortable with time - normally only after I've built up the confidence that even if something unexpected goes wrong, I can handle it. Takes awhile to get to that point though. :-)

Laurann Dohner said...

I go for it and hope it works out. I don't worry about it too much. I've had a lot of bad go down in my lifetime so I grab the good really hard, hang onto it, and enjoy it to the fullest. LOL. I know that with the good, comes bad but the opposite is true as well. When bad happens, good follows. LOL. Don't worry, don't stress... just enjoy the good moments and if the bad comes... know that something wonderful will follow.

Madelyn Ford said...

Ditto what Jaime said. I am always afraid to get too excited because then I won't be disappointed if it doesntt turn out the way I'd hoped. Who knew writers were such fragile creatures?

Heidi Sutherlin said...

This is my sneaky weakness. It slips in and suddenly I have a million and one things to do other than write. I start to feel guilty and then when I've cleared my scheduled roadblocks realize that they weren't the problem after all. *poof* The sneaky fear is illuminated, I beat it down and then start all over again. Luckily, this little thorn in my side is getting easier to spot, and I know to look for it when I haven't written for a few days. I'm hoping that someone will invent some sort of fearicide, a spray or perhaps a lotion to ward it off. Until then, I keep my eyes open and my schedule flexible. This kind of fear is devious, you have to keep on your toes.

Kaily Hart said...

This is along the lines of my fear of success. I'm not like that about everything (because I'm used to being successful). It's just this writing business that has me terrified sometimes with the possibilities. Perhaps because it means so much - not just on a professional level - but it overlaps with the personal. For me, it's intertwined. I've always been a 'contingency thinker'. I try to think through all the things that could go wrong, but only really dwell on the things within my control. I think that's another aspect with this business. There's so much that IS out of our control, so when success happens? You have to question it. At least I do.

Wendi Zwaduk said...

I'm a freak out. Sheesh. Ask anyone. I worry until I have an ulcer and then when I think I can breathe, I worry some more. Drives my DH nuts.

But then again, if we didn't have a healthy bit of fear that anything is possible and what happens if it does, then what fun would life be?

Christina Phillips said...

My tendency is to to stress and panic and assume things will go belly-up! But I'm trying hard to take the advice of my brilliant CPs and actually *enjoy every moment of the journey*!!!

玉苓 said...

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour..............................................

Lynne Roberts said...

Oh, Cari. I could have written this post. The possibility of success is as scary as the possiblity of failure. And yes, when things go well, I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know which way is up. What if?

How do I handle it? I'll let you know about that one. : )

Keep your chin up, girl. You're not alone.

Lynne